I had a terrifying premonition last night. Now that might sound strange, but I’ve had premonitions before. Sometimes it’s just a really strong feeling about something, but often it’s more than that. Particularly recently, I’ve started having really vivid dreams that seem to have some relevance to the future. Now, that may sound rather run of the mill, but you should know that, for all of my life, I’ve never had a vivid dream. And these dreams become a reality. For example, I had a dream about a tabby cat, and then the next day my neighbour came in to tell me she’d just bought a tabby cat, and that I shouldn’t worry if I was it around the street. Anyway, last night, and for the few nights before it, I’ve been having this reoccurring dream where I die. It’s always extremely vivid, and I’ve begun to think that I, or someone around me, has limited time left on this mortal plane.
Now, I’m not particularly worried. I believe in fate, and things happening for a reason at the right time, but what it has forced me to think about was making a will, because, you see, I do not have one. In the event of my death, part of me would like to see the cards fall where the may, but I do worry this deterministic approach will leave my loved ones without direction. I know that losing myself will be a heavy blow for them to bear, and so if I can soften it in any way, I think that it is my duty to do so. They need to be able to feel their grief to the fullest, not have it undermined by legal woes. For example, I’m considering giving my solicitor power of attorney. I’m not exactly sure how that would work, but I feel that it is the right thing to do. However, I worry that thinking in this way sets the fates against myself. I’m not ready to pass on to the next life, but could making preparations lead to such a fate?
You can only be expected to act within the constraints of this earth. Escapism is for the birds and their brethren alone, solitude for the wolf. Jupiter’s orbit shall determine all that has yet to have come.