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My Husband the Caveman

paperworkI swear, my husband is a caveman. He even has a man-cave at the bottom of the garden, a motley thing made of planks and nails. It’s like a testament to how useless he is around the house.

I do almost all of the paperwork, because he spends most of his time in that cave, tinkering with mechanics and anything he can find. Naturally, this means that EVERYTHING around the home is done by me. And I just got a letter from his boss in the mail, stating that his Australian novated lease forms need signing. They were overdue by six weeks, and they would have to take back the company car if he didn’t sign them. That’s the only way we get around the place, so losing it would be pretty huge. Naturally, my husband took the moral high ground and stated that it was a matter of principle. He didn’t agree with the terms of the agreement so he waited to see if it would pan out. As if I didn’t know that was a huge lie. He’s so illiterate he can barely read, and the most words he’s ever taken in are the speech bubbles in Garfield.

Naturally, I made him sign the thing. Heaven knows how he managed to land a corporate job in the first place. If there’s one thing I can’t lose, it’s that car. How do I make him see that that little figure on the car leasing calculator can actually ruin our lives if he doesn’t take this seriously??

Today, a sparrow will tell you a dark secret about yourself. Avoid boiled oats and channel your spirit animal for positive lotto results. Your lucky number is pi.