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Monthly Archives: Aug 2015

House of Leaves

I am done living asustainable home life of lies. For my whole life, I believed that I was living the way I ought to. I was on the grid, just like everyone else, I had a corporate job, just like everyone else, all I wanted to do was earn money, just like everyone else. I was the seething masses. I was the faceless corporations. But then decided to go overseas, to experience a bit more of the world than what I had to that point, and what I saw blew my mind. I realised the flaws with my way of living and committed to becoming a fully fledged eco-warrior when I returned home. But, on returning, I found it almost impossible to find a sustainable home in Melbourne. No matter where I looked, no matter where I turned, the houses labelled ‘green’ only scratched the surface enough to ease the conscience. There was nothing really environmentally friendly about them at all.

After months of looking for energy efficient homes in Melbourne, I realised that it would be up to me. The houses were green, but my way of thinking wasn’t. They were green because they used the most sustainable materials around, but the fact that I wanted to create something new and better made me no worse than the average consumer. It was greener than anything because it was already there. The wasn’t going to be green if I wasn’t going to be green.

That is the realisation I have come to. Living for the planet in a remote community is easy. Living for the planet in a bustling city is hard. I need help in order to get to where I need to be. I need to be honest with myself and try and create what I want instead of expecting it to come to me.

There is freedom within, there is freedom without. It is how you feel in your own skin that truly counts.  

Advocating for a new life

property advocatesI find myself lost in a turbulent sea of confusion. I do not know which way to turn. I have tried to consult the spirits on this issue, but they have left me cold and none the wiser. I am trying to sell my house and buy another. I have lived in this area for nearly ten years, and in that time my children have left and moved to the other side of town. I know that much of that was to do with my past behaviour. I have not always been as connected with my spirituality as I am today and I know the recklessness of my past drove my children away. But I am ready to be there for them now. The problem is, I need to move into their neighbourhood in order to really be there for them. And the last time I moved was such a whirl that I don’t know what I’m doing. Do I need a buyers advocate in Melbourne? How much of an advantage will they truly give me? Could I even handle a move like this sober? There are so many questions I didn’t even realise I’d need to ask myself when I decided on this move.

Then there’s the flip side. It’s one thing to buy a house, but it’s entirely different to sell one. There are so many things I’ll need to think about, from considering whether to get property advocates in Melbourne are really necessary to whether I throw out this or that photo album. I know that letting go of all the baggage of the past might help me move on from this period in my life, but I just don’t know if I’m ready. I really need some sound advice on this.

Believing in yourself is always the first step towards any recovery. You have to find the inner strength to believe in yourself.

From Cats to Scaffolding

ScaffoldingI am proud to say that I am a woman lives her passion, her dream, her life. It hasn’t always been this way, that is true. After I left high school I did too much of this and not enough of that, I lived a life on the high road and travelled all over the globe. I didn’t know who I was, and it took a lot of soul searching to find that person. But I did it. In the face of adversity, I prevailed. I am now, and have been for the past fifteen years, a high school drama teacher. I feel that my job really allows me to give back to the younger generations in a way I’d never thought possible. Not only am I privileged enough to mould their young and inexperienced minds, but I get to be a role model and a friend, someone they know they can trust.

This semester, the school musical is the prestigious Cats, with a composition by the prolific Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber. Such a masterful amalgamation of music and poetry deserves a performance equally as spectacular performance, which is why I’ve enticed the school into hiring aluminum platforms to add to the show. In the final scenes, when the lead, Grisabella, walks a stairway to the sky, what better way to illustrate that than through literally raising her to the sky? However, the hiring of the platforms and the mobile scaffolding needed to place the final touches to the set has not been without difficulty. Despite my insistence, the students are unable to refrain from climbing all other the things! Most of them are old enough to know what they’re doing, but it poses serious health and safety risks. I don’t know how to include the theatrics while keeping the children safe.

Safety is in the hands of the one to whom it belongs. Worry not, the movement of Saturn into Libra ensures that no harm shall befall the innocent.

That One Accident

antennaI have a secret, one that I can’t let any of my friends and family know because they’ll think I’m crazy. Of course, it’s fine to put it on the internet. The internet always understands, and I’ve heard they’re great at keeping secrets. Yep, what goes on the internet STAYS on the internet, am I right?

So, with that said…I think I have superpowers. Well, they’re not all that super, but…I can hear TV signals. In my brain.

See, back when I lived in Melbourne, digital antennas were my thing. I was pretty good at my job, and known for taking the jobs that others didn’t want to touch. My mother kept saying it would get me in trouble, but I was in the game, in the zone. I was a satellite expert, and I liked it.

That was the day I took a seemingly ordinary job installing an antenna on a rooftop. The heights never bothered me, obviously; nothing did. When the storm clouds rolled in, I just shrugged and kept working. Of course, you can guess what happened next. Yep: lightning flashed, my coworker down below said that Jessica Alba had followed him on Twitter and I rushed over to check if it was true. In my haste, I tripped over a roof tile and down I went, antenna and all. I ended up on the ground, still in contact with the antenna, which was live. Gave me a nasty shock and I had to spend the next six weeks in leg rehab, because my legs were broken. My career doing digital antenna installation in Melbourne was over, especially since my boss had been telling me to be careful. Oh, and now I heard signals in my brain. Right now, I’m mostly getting ‘Neighbours’, and sometimes ‘Home and Away’. But how can I learn to use my powers for good, and possibly crime-fighting?

The Space Jam soundtrack shall grant you serenity. Consume vintage cheese for problems with intestinal movements. Your lucky animal is the uni-kitty.

Ducted Heating (or lack thereof) Getting Me Down

Marble FloorI am so mad I am literally seething. My husband and I just bought a beautiful home in Sydney, we really couldn’t ask for a better place. We’ve both been Melbournians all our lives, and love our home city to bit, but Derek’s job had him commuting back and forth between Sydney – so we decided to make the move. And it should have been an absolute dream come true, but to our absolute horror it didn’t come with heating! I mean it came with heating under the floor, to heat the marble, but nothing more than that. What that means was that when we asked about whether the house had heating, everyone said ‘yes, of course!’ But that was only a way of ticking the box.

The floor heater is lovely on the cold marble, but it does not do a very good job at heating up the whole house in the middle of winter. The thing is, I’m not really sure how expensive getting ducted heating in Sydney is. I mean, we have heating already. Would they have to put it under (or over?) our existing heating? Would that even be possible? Could we keep the heating we’ve got and have new heating? If you tell me we have to pull up all of our floor I am not going to be impressed. All I really wanted was to move into a nice, new house, in Sydney with gas heating – is that really too much to ask for? Why must everything always be so unnecessarily complicated? I’m telling you, this kind of thing happens to us literally all of the time. Sometimes I think we must be cursed. What do you think we should do? Get the ducted heating or live with the pathetic floor heating?

Orion’s Belt will align with Jupiter in the second half of this month. Harnessing this great cosmic event will enable to make choices with greater clarity and precision.

Feng shui or ducted heating?

Feng shui or heater?My partner and I recently moved into our rad new flat in metro Canberra, and we could not be more stoked. The place is just fully gorgeous and the housewarming party was totally heckers. We just can’t wait to get our lives started in this place, to build a life together. I’m a big believer in feng shui and having your environment mimic your soul as another step on the path towards enlightenment, but that’s really where my partner and I disagree. You see, I want to spend the rest of our savings on creating a down to earth, meaningful home for ourselves, whereas he wants to spend it on getting ducted heating. Canberra can be cold, particularly in the winter, and already we’re both really struggling. But as an eco-warrior, I know that we can make it through the rest of the month without investing in any type of heating system. Also, I heard that the vaporiser in heaters emits these tiny particles that go into your brain and make people stupider over generations. That’s one of the ways the masked dictators are controlling us, and I say no more! I will not allow myself and my unborn children to be tainted by the Government’s police-state Big Brother ways of making the population of the planet docile. I will stand up and start the revolution!

My partner agrees with me, he agrees with reason, but still he’s weakening against the cold. I can’t hold back the patriarchy without his support, and I need another voice in this debate. What do you think, Joanna? I look up to you, I value your opinion. Do you think we need heating in Canberra, home of the Government?

The meek and mild lamb trusts in the guidance of the shepherd, the lion carves its path through the wilderness alone. Follow the path of your spirit animal and your soul will find peace in all its adventures.